because i never told you why…
i’ll never forget that first day of design studio.
‘what is architecture? what is space? why have you entered this profession?‘
the question seemed easy…but i was at a loss. every answer i could come up with didn’t seem enough. i knew there was more than i understood. i was at the beginning of something. everything i thought about architecture was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew it entailed or believed it to be needed to be tested, processed, redefined… i had to choose for myself what i believed architecture to be and role i would play in it.
six and a half years later, i look back on that day and smile. i really had no idea what i was getting into. i had no clue where my path would take me or the people to which it would lead. if you would have told me how difficult the journey would be or how many times i would want to give up, i’d have quit that day. i look back now, thankful i didn’t know and thankful i didn’t quit. i see the world through the eyes of a designer, as one responsible for the built environment and the effect space has on life.
i’ll never be the same; i’ll never shake this passion.
. it will evolve. it will grow.
i think now i have more questions and less answers.
. i will add to them new truths as new understandings are made.
but i am changed.
i’ll never forget the day i picked up my cross for the first time.
‘who is God? what is faith? why have you chosen to follow Me?‘
i believed. i knew all the stories. i could give you all the sunday school answers. but something changed that february. i died that day to myself, i stood at the foot of the cross broken and overwhelmed by the fact that i could never be enough. He is bigger than i could ever fathom and deeper than i could begin to imagine. no matter how hard i try, no matter how good i am, i cannot meet His standard. to Him, there is no such thing as religion, just Truth. He is perfect and i am not. everything I thought Gd to be was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew He entailed, what i believed life was like needed to be tested, processed, redefined… i had to choose for myself what i believed and what i would do with that belief.
i look back now twelve years later and smile. i really had no idea what i was getting into. i had no clue where my path would take me or the people to which it would lead. if you would have told me how difficult the journey would be or how many times i would want to give up, i may never have chosen Him that day. i look back now, thankful i didn’t know and thankful i made the choice. i see the world through the eyes of my Father, as one responsible for bringing Him glory and offering hope to a searching world.
i’ll never be the same; i’ll never shake this passion.
. it will evolve. it will grow.
i think now i have more questions and less answers.
. i will add to them new truths as new understandings are made.
but i am forever changed.
. He has forever changed me.
i’ll never forget that moment when the two tracks of my life crossed. the work behind the screen left me empty and no longer satisfied; it seemed temporary and fleeting. involved in ministry, leading, teaching and reaching out in relationships, it didn’t matter, i just needed to be a part of a purpose beyond the walls i was drawing…
then He tapped me on my shoulder. ‘what if the purpose i have for you isn’t out there, but right here? the people you’re surrounded by in your studio? they don’t know Me. i need you here.’
things after that were never the same. with each step i take, it becomes more clear to me that these two paths, as an architect and as a disciple, are not meant to be walked separately and independent of the other. the longer they overlap and intersect, the further they intertwine and correspond, the more alive i become and the greater glory He is given.
my education has taught me it’s not just about form, but space.
. my Savr has showed me it’s beyond religion to love.
my profession has equipped me to discern a person’s physical needs.
. my faith has allowed me to hear beyond their spoken words.
my degree has opened doors to serve along side His children of all beliefs.
. my walk has told of my pursuits beyond anything i could ever say.
my purposes are within the walls, outside of the walls, and beyond the walls.
