I don't have to wait for much in life, but when I do, I'm not very happy about it. I get impatient when my phone takes longer than 2sec to load a page. I get frustrated as I wait in line as people try to use their credit card for what appears to be the first time. And I find my heart rate rising sitting in any kind of traffic where the car is not moving. For many of us, December is a month of urgency and expectancy. Finals will soon be over, vacation is around the corner, presents will be...
Read Morefaith is not intended to free us from our struggles but rather to teach us how to struggle well.
i visited the Cathedral of Christ the Light (click on photos in the gallery on the left of the page) a few weeks back to hear the architect from SOM tell about the project. it's the first time i've gone to a lecture about a building in the building and it really got me thinking about what a different experience that was. rather than show photos of the 4 stories of wooden slats, he just pointed to them. when he spoke of the white light panels at the entrance and the ceiling, we turned around to see them. and when...
Read MoreI stepped into the classroom and immediately realized the enormity of the moment. For you see, Christian Theology marked my first official “religious” class. Of course I have been apart of small studies, attended workshops, even taught a little myself. But to sit in a classroom, to intentionally study and read not just for personal development but for a grade, was a situation I had yet to encounter. The development of my faith has always been a personal pursuit and not something which could be qualified in a percentage of excellence. How will this change things? I wondered to myself,...
Read Moreoctober 10, 1981 is the date of my birth and i wonder if my mom did that on purpose. i think i was early… supposed to be a halloween baby. but maybe, just maybe, she knew i would someday love being born on this date… i mean she does know me well, i spent nine months tucked inside of her, listening to my heartbeat and teaching me to fall in love with the sound of a her sewing machine… and maybe her maternal instinct is stronger than i realize. maybe she knew somehow those number would guide a lot more than...
Read MorePart anthropology, part history, part deconstruction - this is new material that Rob hasn’t taught before, exploring how humans invented religion to make themselves feel better. the tour. the community. the videos. the books: velvet elvis & sex God.
you can’t choose your family, they say. regardless of what they do or where they go, you are bound to them by blood. people you may never have picked as friends, you join with to celebrate holidays. yes, your family tree may be fractured, splintered and seemingly a pile of firewood, but you are still family. the same bloodline runs through your veins. you don’t have to grow to love each other, there is an instant, family-kind of love reserved for just this relationship. whatever it is, no matter how bad, you are family. i live in india now, half a...
Read Morebecause i’m way behind… 16 february i wrapped up the guntur project today [november project trip]. drawings are printed, report is complete. it’s good to see one from beginning to end and this one with my fingerprints all over it. design here must be so much simpler in order for it to be built by day laborers and i am challenged to find beauty in such simplicity. the school was my main focus; there were a few things i had to fight for, but they all made their way through the refining to the final drawings. i’m working on developing a basic...
Read Morebecause i never told you why… i’ll never forget that first day of design studio. ‘what is architecture? what is space? why have you entered this profession?‘ the question seemed easy…but i was at a loss. every answer i could come up with didn’t seem enough. i knew there was more than i understood. i was at the beginning of something. everything i thought about architecture was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew it entailed or believed it to be needed to be tested, processed, redefined… i had to choose for myself what i believed architecture to be and role...
Read Moreit was on a bus to bangkok i realized i didn’t want to go back to india. if my plane decided to make a detour to the plains of kansas instead of to the smelly streets of delhi, i would have been okay with that. the two weeks i had been able to spend in thailand reminded me of what life was like outside of india and i forgot how much i liked it. i forgot the freedom my skin feels uncovered by layers of material and what life free of stares feels like. i remembered travel on highways and...
Read Morein a pluralistic world, a religion is valued based on the benefits it brings to its non-adherents. [111] to call the ch.n ch. ‘holy’ is to say something about its purpose, not its behavior at any given moment. the word ch. means those called out. holy means devoted to a sacred purpose. thus, the ch. is a community of people called out from the profane rush and secular hassle of life to be devoted to a sacred purpose. [222] what if we were to redefine protestant as pro-testifying, pro meaning ‘for’ and testify meaning ‘telling our story’? what if protestants switched their...
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if i seem to show too little respect for your opinions or thought, be assured i have equal doubts about my own, and i don’t mind if you think i’m wrong. i’m sure i am wrong about many things, although i’m not sure exactly which things i’m wrong about. i’m even sure i’m wrong about what i think i’m right about in at least some cases. so whenever you think i’m wrong, you could be right. if, in the process of determining that i’m wrong, you are stimulated to think more deeply and broadly, i hope i will have somehow...
Read Morefor most of us in the west, we celebrate christmas with a lower case ‘c’ . the music is all around us and we have no choice but replay the familiar carols in our heads. the stores are full of gifts and unbelievable sales and giving quickly becomes not a matter of if, butwhat. the colorful wrapping paper and carefully tied bows seem to increase our meaning and thoughtfulness. our trees are filled with tinsel and lights decorate our house. there are few spaces left untouched by the twinkle of lights. we don’t have to choose to celebrate christmas, it chooses...
Read Morethis has been one of those ’speak little do much’ kind of weeks. though work was officiallyover for the semester the 15th, i’ve been pleasantly busy with odds and ends filling my days. chai time with friends and cookie dates with a three year old. my eyebrows, though painfully, are now neatly threaded and i suffered a tragic loss involving half a dozen bananas and an arrogant monkey. [and you thought it was just on tv!] i’ve enjoyed early morning walks and late morning showers, extended time to myself and more moments processing a generous orthodoxy. and despite a not so minor burn on my foot...
Read Morevaranasi, home of shiva, the most sacred shores of the ganges, and ideal place for a Hindu to expire. that’s right, i said expire. that’s what they call it here. only one day spent there? yes and that was more than enough for me. this is not the india i have begun to love. people everywhere…buy this, come here, follow me, hey baby. argh. these people are not here to help, they are here to cheat, to make a deal, to get what they want for me. you may have fooled me a couple months ago, but not now. go ahead,...
Read Morejournaled 5 november, 2006 can every day really be filled with such full life? with such purpose? we awoke early to the beginning day noises on the other side of the wall. we are being housed on the second floor of the children’s home, our seven in one half and their 36 in the other. i could hear them getting ready, clothing themselves in sunday’s best. all their possessions held in one single trunk, they folded up their mats and placed them inside. carefully, they helped each other stack them up in the back room, allowing the service to take place...
Read Morei’m not going to pretend this is easy. some people wished me well before i left on my 4 month ‘vacation.’ ha. not hardly. i knew it would be difficult to adjust to a new culture…but really, this tough? my nose doesn’t like the smell here. it’s monsoon season and everything seems musty. the cities smell dirty. i know i’ll get used to it, but it just takes time. my stomach can’t handle the food. i was in bed for 14 hours yesterday. i spend a lot of time in the bathroom. i know i’ll grow to love it, just not right now. i wore a salwar kameez for the first time...
Read Moreif you need me after august 19, i will only be found in india! i am leaving wichita for a four-month internship with eMi [engineering ministries international], a non-profit Christian organization. providing a bridge with third world ministries, eMi exists to help children and families step out of poverty and into a world of hope beyond the walls. working with these established ministries, together we offer our knowledge and training to make clean water, adequate housing, schools, hospitals and other basic infrastructure possible for a world in desperate need. i go because there is a burning in my heart. this...
Read Morei'll never forget that first day of studio. 'what is architecture? what is space? why have you entered this profession?' the question seemed easy enough...but i was at a loss. every answer i could come up with didn't seem enough. i knew there was more than i understood. i was at the beginning of something. everything i thought about architecture was thrown out the window that day. whatever i knew it entailed or believed it to be needed to be tested, processed, redefined... i had to choose for myself what i believed architecture to be and role i would play in it. five...
Read Morei, who live by words, am .......wordless when i try my words in prayer. all .......language turns to silence. prayer will take my words .......and then reveal their emptiness. the stifled voice .......learns to hold its peace, to listen with the .......heart to silence that is joy, is adoration. the self is shattered, all words torn .......apart in this strange pattern time of .......contemplation that, in time, breaks time, breaks .......words, breaks me, and then, in silence leaves me .......healed and mended. i leave returned to language, for i see .......words are ended, i, who live by words, am .......wordless when i turn me to the Word to pray. .......amen. [madeleine l'engle: lines scribbled on an envelope while riding the 104 bus] [enjoy the silence. robbins]
so. it is only 6:30 am here and i've already been working for an hour and a half. i had one of my restless, sleepless kind of nights. i hate those. i'd much rather start tackling the things consuming my mind than lay in bed and worry about them. perhaps i'm worried about my first project i'm sending out for permit next week. or maybe it's lunch today with a friend that i know i need to say something to but i have absolutely no clue how to say it. it could even be that i spent 2 hours last night...
Read More'twas the night before christmas... the eve of Your birth. what You must have been feeling this night before You made Your entrance into the world You created. You came not as a king clothed in earthly splendor, though You deserved the best we had to offer. You should have been wrapped in the finest blankets. people should have been waiting outside Your palace, anticipating Your first sound. but You came a different way. You choose to be carried by an unwed teenager. only she and Your earthly father knew of Your arrival. the animals made noises in the background as they...
Read Moreeverything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see. [martin luther king, jr.]
tonight is one of those lazy kind of saturday nights where you take your shower after dinner and just sit around doing all of those things you never make time to do or nothing at all. i like nights like this, no pressure to be out and about, going or doing. i enjoy this type of rare, uneventful evening. time to listen. time to sleep. [or try to sleep] time to be still. i finished velvet elvis and i must say the last chapter was definitely my favorite. usually, i'm not one to give away endings, but i think this is different. it's...
Read Morei bought rob bell's velvet elvis back in july, but am just now finishing it. i think this is due to my bad habit of starting something but not following through. it's really starting to bother me. so i've tried to buckle down. it's just a lot to handle at once. but whatever you do, you must pick it up. you must read it. you must process through it. discuss it. you must question it. [the idea that some people have faith and others don't is a popular one. but it is not a true one. everybody has faith. everybody is following somebody. the real...
Read Morei can't sleep. i can't read. i can't work. i can't eat. tonight, all i can do is think about is india. what is it about this country that has stirred my heart? tuesday, my friends will go there for 12 days; i think i would give my left hand [as well as my right] to go with them. when the opportunity first came up, i dismissed the anxiousness in my heart because i didn't think it would be feasible with the honeymoon i thought i'd be taking. oh what i wouldn't give to go back and volunteer. a month ago, they invited me...
Read Moreknob...i cannot even say that word without smiling. it's really random word, especially to be coupled with "fest." what is a knob fest you may be asking? what might you do at one? i had no idea, at least until last night, when i witnessed one of the most creative displays of music i have ever seen. it wasn't about performance or cd sales. there was no plug for the fisch haus studios on the floor above or when the after party started. it was all about the music, it's purity and evolution. we use our senses to convey to others...
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