I’d like to propose a name for a new practice, the quasimoon. Rather than plan yet another event right after their Big Day, many couples are starting a new tradition and are only taking a mini vacation right after their wedding and waiting to indulge in their blissful honeymoon escape several months later. Some do this for logistical or financial reasons, while others want to enjoy the time after the wedding when friends and family are still together.

We, on the other hand, took a quasimoon because we didn’t have any other choice. A week after our wedding, Preston was a groomsman in a childhood friend’s wedding in Indiana and 2 days later was scheduled to begin work in Pennsylvania. Thinking practically, we decided to make a quasimoon adventure of the 3,500 mile roadtrip we knew we had to take. With all the changes and events of this summer, the quasimoon turned out to be the best thing we could have done and eliminated the need to plan one more thing!

For me, the trip also seemed therapeutic. Not only were we now married, but we were moving to the other side of the country, I had just graduated, and we were leaving a community we had invested in for several years. Stepping off a plane in a new place with a new name and new life would have been too abrupt a change for this internal processor to process. But with each mile we traveled, I was able to let go of our life in California and anticipate what awaited us in Pennsylvania. We tried to recall all the events, people and memories we wanted to take with us into the next season but also talked about patterns we wanted to reset for the future. It was a physical and mental transition from one world to the next.

Along the ride, we saw some of america’s most beautiful countryside. We stopped for moose on the road in Utah and watched buffalo roam in Wyoming. We swam under the big sky of Montana and felt patriotic at Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota… We read books out loud and had bad dancing parties in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes we sat in silence enjoying the view with the sweet thought of the other sitting next to us until death do us part still sinking in. In three months, we’ll indulge in a honeymoon of our own in New Zealand and I have a feeling the blissfulness will have only multiplied.

Ah… Home sweet Home!
See all the photos and in larger sizes HERE.


p.s. what road trip would be complete without photos of state signs?!

oh, so you really want to do this forever thing? how about you begin it by planning the biggest event of your life. of course you can have anything you want, it’s your day. just remember, everyone has opinions, ideas and criticisms. oh, and because most people have been to dozens of weddings, good luck with trying to be unique. and if you survive, then happily ever after awaits you on the other side.

and some how we made it. perhaps a glutton for punishment, we did it all again (this time at a smaller scale) for our kansas reception 6 weeks later. though people seemed to praise the events and the BIG DAY was truly one of the best days of our lives, it’s also so good to have the milestone behind us. happily ever after isn’t the same as they show it in the movies, but so far, marriage is one of the most amazing adventures i’ve ever embarked upon.

wedding memorabilia now hangs on our wall instead of sitting on our “to do” list. my mind is no longer spinning keeping track of RSVPs and my fingers have recovered from fashioning a bouquet made of wire. the veil was lifted and with it, the joyous burdens that unavoidably accompany it. but before the moment passes too far behind us, i want to be sure to publish content we created during the process so that this blog has a piece of this unforgettable season of life.

I will love you in action and in words.
I will honor you above myself.
I will serve God by serving you.
I will be joyful in the hope of our shared future.
I will be patient with you, in good times and in bad.
I will be faithful to pray for you and with you in the seasons to come.

I will use the gifts that God has given me to build you up and better your world.
I will be strong where you are weak.
I will embrace your strengths which compliment my own.

I will live a life of generosity.
I will rejoice when you rejoice and mourn when you mourn.
I will not consider myself or my opinions better than you and yours.
I will strive to create peace in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

I will trust God and will pursue a life that shares his love.
I will be intentional to invest in our relationship and to invest with you in the lives of others.

I will encourage, respect, trust, honor, support, and love you all the days of my life.

She says…
Preston was confident about our future together from the beginning while I, on the other hand, was not. “He’s just so different from anyone I have ever dated,” I remember telling a friend. “Jill,” she told me. “The ones you’ve dated haven’t worked.” Touche. From that moment on, I opened myself up to the possibility of Preston. Back and forth I continued to lament… is he or isn’t he the one for me? All the while, Preston patiently and consistently stood by my side, waiting for me to see us the way he did.

He says…
Fast forward sixteen months – past adventures to Yosemite, the Redwoods, Disneyland, Canada, trips to Kansas and the East Coast… past an endless amount of tasty homemade dinners, movie nights, long walks, and hundreds of conversations late into the night…

I remember sitting on the sand staring out into the crashing waves, watching the stars overhead fade softly into the glow of Hermosa Beach. As her tears began to fall, the reality of the situation began to dawn on us.  I was getting sent down to LA for a new position and Jill was heading off for weeks to the middle east… how was it going to all work? We didn’t know it then, but it would be the distance she needed to finally decide she wanted to be close forever.

She says…
Being a strong woman of independence, I guess it took me going all the way to the Middle East for 6 weeks to do research for me to realize life is not complete without Preston. Having the foresight to know I would need him there, Preston prepared me with a note for everyday that I was gone. Beginning each note with a unique TO and FROM (i.e. TO: the one who forgets FROM: the one who remembers, TO: the architect FROM: the engineer… see all the TO/FROM) he intentionally showed me the contrasting yet complimentary characteristics we bring to the other. He wrote within each note memories we’ve shared, something he loves about me, and a challenge for me to do that day. Over the course of one of the most difficult trips in my life, I realized without a doubt, he was the one for me…

He says…
Now I’ve been on this page for quite some time – you just don’t find girls like Jill everyday. I can’t remember when I had made up my mind about it, but it grew on me day by day until the thought of being with Jill forever became the ultimate goal. My confidence in us always had to push through her uncertainty – my constant pursuit was needed to prove I was trustworthy and remind her that I loved her without conditions.

Amidst the chaos of starting a new life in LA and Jill experiencing a place she had never imagined to be in, I get a phone call from the from a rooftop in the Arabian Peninsula.  It’s Jill. And without a hesitation in her voice, I heard her say those words I had been waiting to hear – she wants to marry me. I think she could hear my smile half way across the world.

And in the words of my trusted guy friends, sometimes you just gotta “Lock it down” and my time had finally come.

She says…
Perhaps the greatest gift you could give me is the gift of travel. Preston knows this well and for my birthday, we decided to go to New Mexico for the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta. Austin and Alicia (Preston’s brother and sister-in-law) joined us as they had been to the fiesta before and would know all the best things to do. And little did I know (or maybe I had an idea ), but they also came to share and document the entire to-be-engaged event!

He says…
She has no idea that I’ve been planning for this day for about a month… from custom designing the ring of her dreams… to timidly calling her father to ask about proposing. Though as I called him over a Skype video feed I had to hold in my laughter as he walked into the screen with a real shotgun – glad he has a sense of humor, and glad that his gun is in Kansas .  I picked the ring up a day before I left for New Mexico… that’s what you call cutting it close.

Plan A: I booked a sunrise hot air balloon ride as Jill’s surprise “birthday” present… birthday… ha! It took everything in me to keep cool and calm – walking the emotional line. If I was too enthusiastic, the cover is blown – but not enthusiastic enough, and she’ll suspect more to come.

Plan B: Turns out I was surprised too; apparently too much wind means no riding up in a hot air balloon. My brother (like the champion he is) frantically booked us another flight for the afternoon, which (of course) would also get grounded. As my proposal strategy takes off with unusually strong breeze, I’m left with the thought that I should have been engaged by now… I wasn’t supposed to experience another dinner without a fiance!

Plan C: But as the sun sets and the balloons start to fill up for Evening Glow, I got one more chance to romantically declare my love. As we made our way through the crowd from balloon to balloon as the New Mexican sun set over the horizon, I awkwardly give Austin and Alicia the sign. We walked up to Jill’s favorite balloon and…

I start the spiel I’ve rehearsed a thousand times in my head.  She’s gave me a suspicious look – Here? Now? I just smiled and dropped to one knee. I popped open the box and let the diamond sparkle like a star with the cool white LED light on the inside of the lid. The smile on her face was priceless (the diamond was not ).  She said “Yes!” much faster than I expected and bear hugged me as my brother caught the fleeting instant on his camera. I drank in the moment…  the glow of the flamethrowers sending bright colors flashing into the darkness, the last remnants of twighlight fading to the west, the stars above, the crowds around, the fireworks that followed, and my bride-to-be in my arms…

She says…
THIS DECISION CHANGES EVERYTHING. For my whole life, I have asked these questions… Who will be my teammate and live the adventure of life with me? Who will not be afraid to challenge me when I’m wrong? Who will father my children and stay up late helping them with homework? Who will push me to be more than I can be on my own? Who will care for me when I’m sick or injured? Who will I wake up to when I’m old in the middle of the night?

For the first time in my life, I have the answer, Preston. My perfect compliment, I truly see him as God’s most gracious gift to me and the most tangible way He’s made His love known to me. I know I’ve found someone who loves me just as I am, but still wants to help me become who I could be. He is the “home” I have been in search of and the man in my dreams. “I’m your anchor, you’re my sails,” he tells me, and I can think of no better way to describe our perfect relational compliment to each other.

He says…
Aww yeah – Mission accomplished.

Photos by Austin Kurtz of Wotography

Then he picked up his guitar and played a song he wrote while living in the lakes of New Hampshire. As he lyrically reflected on God’s undeniable presence in his journey through life, I was intrigued (listen to song here: All My Journeys). There was more to this man than just his puppy dog excitement and people loving demeanor. I had planned to leave immediately after the evening, worn out from a day of teaching and work. But afterwards, our conversation kept me there until everyone else had left.

We shared of our work and our love of sunsets. We talked about searching for beauty in the everyday and of my photo-a-day goal. He shared with me more about his song and I told him about the process of making the lamp I had made as my contribution to the evening.

It was far from love at first sight, but perhaps it was trust at first conversation.

I left his presence revived; no longer depleted, but energized. I felt as if he understood me beyond the words we shared, as if there was something deeper that connected. Burned by the past, I was slow to let people in and hesitant to be known. But in that moment, there was something in him that seemed to reach out its hand to me to say, “I am worthy of your trust.”

Before I was able to walk away, he asked me to show him the photo I had taken that day for my daily project. Flustered, I realized I had yet to take one and would have forgotten had he not prompted. I laugh at that moment now for how often do I hear from him, “Do you have your keys?” or “Don’t forget to call so and so,” or “Let’s plan where we’re parking ahead of time this time” with a wink. I can see now that even from that very first moment, he is the stable rock I need on which I can build my dreams.

With his suggestion, I snapped a photo of the lamp I had made of my processing of the Psalms. That night as I uploaded the photo, I wrote a reflection from my conversation with him. Far from realizing our forever future, I wrote the following thoughts which now embody the journey of trust I have committed to take with him.

I live life completely surrounded by people. I have hundreds of friends on facebook, gossip with coworkers, discuss weather with acquaintances, and tell stories with friends. But rarely am I real, raw, or vulnerable with others. I live with low outer walls but high inner walls; I am afraid to let my guard down. I’ve been hurt or wounded too many times in the past… I’ve become calloused and scared to open up to someone again.

But sometimes, I’m reminded of what life outside of my walls could be. Sometimes I catch glimpses of what it means to live in community, to live life with others, to truly open myself up to be loved. Sometimes I just need someone to help me get there…

Jill lives for inspiration and is a fountain of creativity. Her eye for photography is only matched by her passionate pursuit for beauty in the everyday. One step into my gallery…er…apartment and you can quickly tell that I’m her biggest patron/fan!

Jill has an entrepreneurial spirit, a visionary personality, and an insatiable desire to explore new places and cultures. She’s constantly trying to expose me to the cultures she has experienced and grown to love in Africa, India, Europe, and around the world, as well as expand my worldview beyond that of Southern California. She always sees the infinite potential that the future might bring, and uses me as a teammate to help fill in those pesky details.

Her work ethic is incredible – between brief indulgences into the artistic, Jill juggles earning a M.A. in Intercultural Studies, managing her own business as an green-building architectural consultant, presiding on the board of a non-profit, and volunteering at Mosaic, her church. But it doesn’t just impress me that she does so much; what shines through is her desire to do all things well, to never settle for less than excellent. I think it says a lot about her character that she continues to work to make herself better day after day.

I love watching Jill dive into her introverted zone to read, write, and reflect – and I can feel her love and patience for me when she invites me (an extraverted, attention-craving puppy) into that sacred space.

I live in an internal world. You may see or speak to me on the outside, but the most real voice of me remains quiet and often unheard within my own head. I have to think through things before I can speak into them. I have to meditate on changes before I can externally embrace them. This week, I’ve been working through the thoughts, emotions and changes of our decision to move forwared in life together. Yes, we had talked about getting married, we tried on rings and he even asked permission from my parents. But in the processing of this week following his proposal, I’ve learned talking about marriage far different than choosing to pursue it.

There isn’t a single question of the rightness of this decision… no not at all. My processing is more the realization that THIS DECISION CHANGES EVERYTHING. For my whole life, I have asked these questions…Who will be my teammate and live the adventure of life with me? Who will not be afraid to challenge me when I’m wrong? Who will father my children and stay up late helping them with homework? Who will push me to be more than I can be on my own? Who will care for me when I’m sick or injured? Who will I wake up to when I’m old in the middle of the night?

For the first time in my life, I have answer, Preston. My perfect compliment, I truly see him as God’s most gracious gift to me and the most tangible way He’s made His love known to me. I know I’ve found someone who loves me just as I am, but still wants to help me become who I could be. He is the “home” I have been in search of and the man in my dreams. “I’m your anchor, you’re my sails,” he tells me and I can think of no better way to describe our perfect relational compliment to each other.

So in the midst of my fzrazzledness and cloudy head, YES, Preston… a thousand times YES! Here’s to all that brought us to this moment and millions more left ahead.